


Trust Me

by HomeForImaginaryFriends



Series: Bokuroo Week 2017 [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BoKuroo Week, Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 05:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10564263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomeForImaginaryFriends/pseuds/HomeForImaginaryFriends
Summary: Bokuto has long accepted his love towards his friend Kuroo, had thought he'd just keep his feelings to himself until he starts coughing up soft pink petals.





	

There was only so many times Bokuto could wake up to soft petals on his pillow or clear his throat and feel petals in his mouth before he had to admit to himself what was happening.  He guessed he could only ignore it for so long, just like he had ignored his budding feelings, before it demanded his attention.  Like a volleyball player ignoring a small injury, letting it become worse and worse until it’s not longer so small and easily fixed.

 

Though there’s really no ‘easy fix’ for Hanahaki Disease.  The person afflicted with it has three options.  Cut the flowers out, along with their feelings for the unrequited love.  Confess, and then they still might have to cut it off if the person doesn’t feel the same way.  Or let it choke them to death.

 

Bokuto didn’t like any of those options.  Having such a major operation would keep him from playing volleyball and it was his last year, the last tournament of his high school career was coming up.  He had finally hit his stride as not only an ace but as the captain too.  His dejected modes were happening less with breaks between them farther apart, his cut shot was cleaner than it had ever been, and he had worked up his endurance and stamina to a point that it even rivaled those monsters from Karasuno.  Bokuto had never seen anyone lose as much as they had and continue to come back for more with the exact same enthusiasm and drive as they began with.  It had inspired Bokuto.

 

“Bokuto, please hurry up.”  Akaashi was impassive as ever, letting the rest of the team pass him on the way out of the clubroom.  Bokuto had gotten a text that had sent him running to the bathroom to cough up little pink petals, the edges a darker pink than the rest.

 

“Go on without me!  I’ll be right there!”  Bokuto nearly choked himself pulling off his scarf while kicking off his shoes.  They went flying in different directions but that sounded like a problem for his future self to deal with.  Akaashi left without another word as Bokuto began digging in his bag for his training kit.

 

Fingers wrapped around a blue shirt with a slash of black writing on it.  Bokuto felt something tickle the back of his throat as he pulled out the shirt, knowing it was a bad idea even as he did it.  He had always been a kid to pick at a scab or poke at a bruise and now was really no different.

 

One month.  It was the growth period of the Hanahaki Disease.  One month meant a person was in the hospital, gasping for breath that would never feel like enough as flowers grew inside them, choking the life out of them in a devastatingly beautiful way.  Morbid curiosity had Bokuto looking up the disease online, saw the autopsy pictures some sites posted of cut open bodies, flowers flowing out of them, growing even in death.  Bokuto looked up people that had gotten it cut out of them, the months of recovery and never feeling like themselves afterwards.

 

Bokuto stared down at the shirt in his hands, petals clogging his airway as his eyes burned with unshed tears.  He didn’t want to die but he didn’t want to be a different person afterwards.  He didn’t want to cut this out of him.

 

Bokuto stumbled to the small trash can in the corner of the changing room and coughed and coughed and coughed until he was dry heaving into the can.  Sobs wracked his body as he curled himself up on the ground, allowing himself just this small moment of self pity.

 

It had been two weeks since Bokuto found the first petals on his pillow after falling asleep texting Kuroo Tetsurou.

 

Bokuto had been in love with Kuroo for more than two weeks, more like two years.  It had become apart of him and he had accepted it.  It was like his mood swings, sometimes they were great and allowed him to get a lot done but sometimes they swung the other way and he never felt as if he was  _ enough _ .  Loving Kuroo was like that.  Sometimes, most of the time if Bokuto was honest with him which he always tried to be, loving Kuroo was easy and smooth.  He had been in love with the Nekoma captain for almost as long as they had known each other _ ,  _ it was apart of him.  But sometimes it hurt and clawed at him.

 

Two weeks ago Kuroo had started to date a girl, someone in the calligraphy club with long straight hair.  A girl with long, delicate fingers and soft gentle eyes.  Someone who got all of Kuroo’s jokes and who took college prep classes with him.  Someone who was the opposite of everything Bokuto was.

 

It hurt, hurt, hurt but it hadn’t been the first girlfriend Kuroo had.  He’s had exactly three before this girl but Kuroo always talked about how different she was.  How she understood that volleyball had to come first, that she didn’t mind he spent most of his free time with his team or stayed for extra practice even if they hadn’t seen each other outside of school in a couple days.  She was understanding and Bokuto knew he was a needy and greedy type of person.  He demanded attention even as friends, he couldn’t imagine he’d be any better in a relationship.

 

Bokuto pushed himself up, his throat felt raw and he suddenly felt exhausted.  Changing into his training kit took more effort than it should have but Bokuto forced himself to put one foot in front of the other, made himself stop at the fountain so he could drink some water and spit out a couple petals that had stuck to the sides of his throat.

 

Loving Kuroo was easy most of the time but it was killing him.

 

“Bokuto are you feeling alright?”  Shirofuku asked as she crouched down next to him, holding out a water bottle for him to take.  Bokuto could feel the rest of the team look over, the anxious stares a little more than his usual dejected mode earned.

 

“Oh ho ho?  Are you worried about your captain?  Never fear, you’re brave, wonderful, awesome captain is just fine!”  Bokuto tried a laugh but it was cut off as Shirofuku pushed the end of the water bottle into his forehead.  They shared a look and Bokuto forced a smile.

 

“You’ve been tired the past couple days Bokuto.”  Akaashi spoke up.  Bokuto had thought he had been keeping his energy up, even if he had gotten in trouble a couple times for falling asleep in class.  They were only an hour and half into their training, it was only their first break and Bokuto felt like he was ready to pass out.

 

“You haven’t even been bugging any of us for extra practices.”  Komi spoke up, popping around the side of Konoha.

 

“Bugging?”  Bokuto sputtered out, faking outrage but even that seemed to exhaust him.

 

“Maybe you should go home and rest Bokuto, we are having another training camp in a week, you want to be at your best don’t you?”  Akaashi asked.  It was the right thing and the wrong thing to say, Bokuto felt fired up but he also felt an itch in the back of his throat.   _ Not here _ , he had done so well of keeping it a secret.

 

“Didn’t you make a bet the last time with the cat captain over who would win the most practice games?”  Konoha spoke up.  The itch in the back of Bokuto’s throat became stronger, he felt like he was suddenly breathing through a straw, he could taste the pollen and petals on his tongue.

 

“Bokuto?”  Shirofuku asked worriedly before Bokuto shot up and dashed out of the gym, sliding around to the back of it before bending over at the waist to cough up flowers.

 

Full flowers, not just petals anymore.

 

Bokuto could hear the pounding of feet behind him so he took off running again, ignoring the fact that all his stuff was in the change room and that was ruining his almost new pair of volleyball shoes.

 

It took Bokuto two hours to get home.  Fukurodani was two train rides away from his parents apartment complex and Bokuto, feeling weaker than the time he had gotten the flu in his first year, had to take frequent breaks to rest.  He didn’t have any of his money, ID, bus passes, or anything so he had to walk the entire way.  He felt ashamed, knew he’d have to face everyone later but for right now-

 

“Koutarou!”  His parents rushed at him, pulling him away from the door and checking him over.

 

“Sorry I-” The words died in Bokuto’s throat as he stared past them to where Akaashi was sitting at his table, mouth pressed into a hard line.  If Bokuto didn’t feel so betrayed he would have felt bad that Akaashi was always settled with being Bokuto’s keeper.

 

“Why didn’t you tell us?”  His mother cupped his face as his dad ran a hand, far too hard, down his spine.

 

“Tell you what?”  Bokuto had learned early on with his parents that it was best not to admit to anything they didn’t specify.

 

“We saw the flowers Bokuto, there were some in the change room too.”  Akaashi sounded, of all things, furious.  Bokuto had never heard Akaashi get actually angry before and it was intimidating and terrifying.

 

“We set up an appointment-”

 

“No, no I don’t want to do that!  I don’t want it cut out!”  Bokuto stepped away from the comfort his parents provided as he fisted a hand in the material of shirt right above his heart.

 

“Koutarou this isn’t a discussion we’re going to have with you, Akaashi said they were full blooms-”  Normally Bokuto wouldn’t dare interrupt his father, especially when he got like this.  Most people weren’t sure how someone so serious and stern could have a son like Bokuto, but they were both passionate people.

 

“They aren’t yet, the flowers just started happening.  I’m fine, I still have two weeks.”  Bokuto knew it was the wrong thing to say as they all stepped closer to him, furious and hurt echoing on each of their faces.

 

“How long has this been happening?”  Bokuto’s mother asked, tears in her eyes.

 

“You are 17!  I’m not having you throw your life away at 17!  You’re still a child, my child and I will make this decision for you.”  Bokuto’s father's voice boomed in the apartment, all composure lost.

 

“I’m not letting you cut him out of me!”  Bokuto screamed, he could feel the petals in the back of his throat and thought they could not be happening at a worse time.

 

“Bokuto-” Akaashi tried but Bokuto turned on him quickly.

 

“You’ve done enough, just leave!”  Bokuto stormed his way to his room, leaning against the door behind him and trying to muffle his coughs in his hand, feeling the soft petals touch against his calloused palms.

 

Bokuto curled up on his bed, tossing the pale pink flower to the floor and pretending he couldn’t hear his parents and Akaashi discussing him in the living room.

 

Bokuto woke with a start as they bed dipped with someone's additional weight added to it.  He felt fingers in his hair which he knew couldn’t be pleasant with all the gel he used.

 

“Hey hey hey Kuroo.”  Bokuto managed to rasp out, his throat hurting and aching now that he was awake.

 

“Hey Bo,” Kuroo’s fingers gently rubbed Bokuto’s shoulder.  Bokuto almost started laughing.  His parents had called the one person they thought could talk some sense into Bokuto not knowing he was the worst person to call.  “Why didn’t you tell me buddy?  We could have made a date so epic that no one could resist falling in love with you.”  Bokuto clenched his jaw tight, willing the flowers to go back down as his eyes filled with tears.  “Have you tried confessing?  I don’t know anyone who’d turn you down- is it Akaashi?”  Bokuto shook his head, the only thing he could do as petals pushed against his teeth.

 

Suddenly Bokuto could handle the pressure no more as he started to cough up flowers, blood making them look even more menacing.

 

“Shit!  No- hold on-” Kuroo cursed but Bokuto grabbed him.

 

“Please don’t leave,” Bokuto managed to rasp out as he continued to choke up flowers.

 

“It’s okay, I’m here Bo, I’m here for you.  Help!”  Kuroo called out loudly as Bokuto’s vision became dim pin pricks.

 

Bokuto was taken to the hospital and he was heartbroken to realize his father was making good on his threat.  The flowers built up at an even more alarming pace, as if they realized they were about to be pulled out by the root.  Bokuto couldn’t breath, could hardly catch his breath, yet he begged to see Kuroo.  Had to see him one last time before he was cut out of him.

 

“Koutarou you need to-”

 

“It’s fine,” His mother spoke up, cutting across them both.  Bokuto could see in her eyes she finally understood who this was all about.  “I’m so sorry, my poor baby.”  She kissed his forehead before ushering her husband out.

 

Kuroo appeared moments later, he was still in his school uniform.  Shirt untucked, tie loosened around his neck.  His clothes were wrinkled, his hair an even bigger mess than usual.  His eyes were red rimmed and his face pale.

 

Bokuto couldn’t seem to stop crying, which caused Kuroo to rush forward, pressing into Bokuto’s space, curling longer fingers through his hair and touching their foreheads together.

 

“I don’t want this,” Bokuto managed to whisper, voice a harsh rasp.  What if they took out everything that involved Kuroo?  Their tight friendship, that impenetrable bond that held them together despite their rivalries and distances between them.  What was the difference between romantic love and platonic love to a doctor?  What if they cut it all out?

 

“You’ll be up in no time Bo, you’re young and strong, your team will make sure they keep going strong so you have a championship to come back to.”  Kuroo promised, reading the situation completely wrong.

 

“You’ll be here after?”  Bokuto whispered, desperately holding onto Kuroo.

 

“Of course, of course I’ll stay here, I’ll always be here.”  Kuroo promised.

 

“Even if- even if I don’t feel the same?  If I don’t act the same?”  Bokuto asked, needed to know despite the fact that he was giving everything away.

 

“Yeah, why would any of that-” Kuroo pulled back a little even as Bokuto hung on.  “Why would any of that change?”  Kuroo asked carefully.

 

“Isn’t it obvious?”  Bokuto forced a grin.  Bokuto met Kuroo’s wide, disbelieving eyes and thought  _ oh well, _ what else did he have to lose?  “I love you, I’ve been in love with you.  I’m sorry, I’m so sorry about it.”

 

“Say it again.”  Kuroo was gripping the sides of Bokuto’s face, maybe a bit too roughly but Bokuto didn’t care.

 

“I love you,” Bokuto would say it as much as Kuroo wanted him to because very soon it would be pulled out of him and he wanted to remember how he felt.  Not the suffocating flowers building up in his lungs but the warmth and softness, the devotion and innocence of it.

 

“Again.”  Kuroo was crying in earnest now.

 

“I love you-”

 

“I love you, I love you- fucking hell on earth Bokuto Koutarou, don’t you cut me out of you.”  Bokuto almost didn’t understand as Kuroo pressed even closer, wrapping his long arms around Bokuto and hugging him tight.

 

“You can’t.”  Bokuto wheezed out.

 

“I do-”

 

“You can’t.”  Bokuto argued and was shaken for it.

 

“Why are you arguing with me you stubborn owl?”  Kuroo’s fingers dug into Bokuto’s biceps.

 

“You have a girlfriend.”  Bokuto protested weakly, afraid this was all wrong, that it would come crashing down on him.

 

“Since when?”  Kuroo asked.

 

“The one in the calligraphy club?”  Kuroo made a face.

 

“That’s Kai’s girlfriend, Bo I told you to actually  _ read _ people's texts and not skim them!”  Kuroo shook him again.  “You stupid stupid-”

 

“You started talking about a girl!  I didn’t want to read in detail about it!”  Bokuto defended himself weakly, pushing Kuroo’s hands away so he could properly press himself against Kuroo’s chest.  Kuroo wrapped his arms back around Bokuto, gentler this time.  “You’ve had other girlfriends.”

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry it took me so long to realize- I was going to tell you after graduation, I swear it.”  They held onto each other for a long moment.  “Hey Bo?”

 

“Hmm?”  Bokuto asked, almost asleep.

 

“You haven’t coughed in a while.”  That woke him up as he realized with a start there was nothing in his throat.  He still felt exhausted, more so than he ever had before, his throat and stomach hurt and ached but the petals pressing against the back of his throat that he had almost become accustomed too was gone.  “What- why are you crying now?”  Bokuto couldn’t help it as he pressed against Kuroo and finally felt like he could breath again.

 

Bokuto couldn’t believe this all started with a gift in the form of a blue t-shirt that had ‘Trust me’ printed on the front and ‘I’m an Ace-of a guy’ on the back in kanji.


End file.
